One Month and Counting...

First I will get last weeks "weigh in Wednesday" results out of the way. I was up 2 lbs. because of course I used Lent as an excuse to indulge all week. Not a good excuse but an honest one. I have to get a hold of allowing myself a little bit of my favorites otherwise I would go completely crazy and eat 1/2 gallon of ice cream at one sitting. It's a total control issue of which I often feel I have none. Control. I tell myself "There have been Oreos for a gazillion freakin years, why on earth would they all of a sudden stop making Oreos? There's no need to eat the whole package. No one will take them and even if they did... they make more." There is a psychological issue with all of this I know but heck if I know how to get it all figured out. I'll get there. I have too. I can't fail... again.

The "one month and counting" is the count down for me returning to work after my maternity leave ends. Another reason to kick it into panic mode as I fit into few to none of my pre-baby work clothes. I donated all my maternity clothes to get myself motivated not to rely on them. I'm not pregnant, I should not be wearing maternity clothes. Good thought in theory the time to of elastic waist pants and fuzzy slippers is coming to an end and I need to get it into gear... high gear.

60 lbs total lost is my ultimate goal... I need 10 lbs gone this month to be comfortable in my "big girl clothes". Stay tuned...

Weigh In Wednesday 2 ... a couple days late

I'm posting this on Friday but these were the numbers on our weekly Wednesday weigh-in. I was up .5 lbs. which I actually considered a small success considering I had family in town for the weekend and the menu when that happens is usually far from healthy. This should not be an excuse. I'm responsible for what I put in my mouth. The Weight Watchers points counting is not going so well. I'm not giving up on it but sometimes I feel like I'm floundering in a sea of weight loss plans, solutions, advice, etc. etc. Which one is the life preserver? That's the one I need, the one that is going to help me save my life but which one is it?

I'm feeling somewhate motivated today (at least more than recent days) so I need to embrace it and focus on that. However, I did do a search online for a Rx weight loss pill I was given many many years ago. I mentioned it in an earlier post and let me tell you, it curbed my appetite great but made me a bit jittery. I could handle that I suppose if i were seeing big results but right now I am nursing my precious baby boy and as badly as I want to lose weight, it's not at the expense of hurting him in any way. I'm ashamed to admit it but for a BRIEF moment, I actually even considered being done nursing just so I could try the Rx again. I quickly put that thought out of my mind.

I wonder if others have all of this up and down conflict and self talk with themselves? Sometimes I think "the hell with is, just be fat". Why can't I be one of those super-motiviated-nothing can stop me-once I set my mind to it-people? And as I type this, my mental talk to myself is "SHUT UP, QUIT WHINING and JUST DO IT ALREADY!!"

On a different note... stay tuned for "What are we giving up for Lent?" and "The Scale". These will be good ones as I can be as wishy washy about what to give up as I can about the diet life preserver. And the scale... that's an animal all it's own.

Weigh-In Wednesday

My official weigh-in days are Wednesdays. I have wonderful support on this journey from a couple friends, one who happens to be my cousin. They live in a different state as me but we keep in touch and encourage eachother via email. We all give our weigh-in results on Wednesdays. This week I was down 2 lbs. to 194.5 -- Yea!! It felt so good. Just that little bit can be so encouraging and I think what did it for me was cutting out the eating after 8 p.m. That was a hard one for me because I love to have that snack right before bed. It was usually a bowl of cereal. This week I settled for a small glass of milk. I'm proud of myself for that one, it's not easy still.

Today is a pretty rough day for eating. I'm paying attention to my feelings and mood when I want to eat and I'm finding that my biggest struggle is when I'm tired. Today I am exhausted and find myself constantly wanting to put food in my mouth. I need to figure this one out... and I will.

Thank you and Love to R and E, my friends in IN for keeping spirits up and keep on pushing. Also thanks and love to S and L from weightlosswars.com for always sending words of encouragement. All of you ladies ROCK!!! XOXOXO